I’m just not ready yet

Image: Hanny Naibaho

This is a very strange concept that I’m going to be talking about and I’m not even sure why I’m thinking of it right now because I’m writing this at actually 1:43 am but okay.

I feel like in today’s fast-paced society, no one ever really gets to decide if they’re ready for something. It’s really seen as a sign of weakness to admit you’re not ready for something. Everyone’s always trying to bite off the biggest, juiciest chunk of I’m-better-than-you that they definitely can’t chew and it results in everything being too fast and too fuck-you and everyone’s expected to just be ready. To be ready all the time.

If you’re not ready then apparently you’ve failed. If you’re not ready to go to university and move out of home? Too fucking bad. You’re 18 now so you have to be ready. If you take a year out then you’re basically just seen as a massive waste of space. Like who decided that?! How does every single human being on this planet suddenly become ready for this at 18? They don’t! There are people like me who were born god damn ready to leave and there are other people who weren’t and both feelings are fine and valid.

And do you know what? That’s not even me anymore. I’m paying rent to live in my Dad’s house and not because I don’t have anywhere else to go or because I’m not ‘sorting my life out’ but because I don’t want to leave. I’m not ready to leave. I don’t want to leave my sister behind and I’m not ready to be alone right now in the big wide world where no one knows who I am. And so what? What are you going to do? What’s anyone going to do?

I also feel like in this day and age if you don’t want to talk about something then it’s weird. And I feel like people’s first instinct these days is when you say “I’m not ready to talk about it” they try and pressure you with these classic emotional blackmail one-liners like “you can trust me” or “I won’t tell anyone” or “just say” or “you’ll feel better for talking about it.”

No, you know what Sandra, I won’t feel better for talking about it because I am

Not

Rea-

Dy.

And anyone who tries to pressure you into telling them anything you don’t want to rather than just respecting you and leaving the subject well alone is a shitty friend and you don’t need them. If you’re gonna be my friend I don’t have to know every tiny detail of your life I just need you to know I’m there for you if you fancy talking, and there for you equally as much if you don’t fancy it.

So I just felt like that really needed to be said. And now I’m giving you literal permission to not be ready for something. There’s a reason why you’re not ready for whatever the thing is so listen to yourself. You don’t have to be straight up automatically ready for everything in this world. You just do you and be happy and everything will fall into place. Honestly.

Peace out. *drops phone on face like I’m dropping the mic* *says ouch*

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