Something that comes a close second to making random impulse purchases when it comes to making me feel great is throwing things away, or just making a sort of average sized change in my life. Just recently I ordered a new duvet online, and picked out new sheets and covers for it and tonight I have just assembled it all and put my old duvet in a bin bag ready to leave my life forever.
In one way I feel sad, that duvet has been my literal security blanket for so long, but I’m hoping that I’ll feel better now it’s gone. That’s why I love sleeping in hotels so much, the excitement of the luxurious feeling of bed sheets that aren’t mine, even if they’re just shitty old ones from a Premier Inn.
In a sort of “oh if these walls could talk” way, that duvet holds a lot of symbolism in my life. If it was a person it would have seen me cry, it would have seen me at my absolute worst. One set of the sheets I had for it I bought at one of the lowest points in my life and I remember snuggling into them watching Agatha Raisin and it made me feel a little bit better somehow. I bought my old duvet in my first year of uni with my then boyfriend, and every time I change the covers on it I see the old coffee stain where he managed to slop a whole cup of hot coffee down it the morning after we had gone and picked it out together. In the back of my mind, throwing away this duvet is like decontaminating my life of all of the good, bad and ugly things that may have happened to me in it’s presence. Lately I have felt as though the very fibres of it are holding memories that I desperately want to leave behind. I know that once it’s gone from my house and my life, those memories will be a little more distant too.
I suppose what I’m trying to say is, I’m at this point in my life where I have such a genuinely joyous outlook and this brewing feeling of a fresh start on the horizon, I just decided to do this little thing for myself to help it all along. I really like the fact that throwing things away makes me happy, because 1) I never own more items that can fit in the back of an average sized family car and 2) I think it means that I’m able to get over things more easily, to forgive and forget, and more often than not it’s better to do just that. To forgive others as well as yourself and to forget what you need to and just move on.